Journey
by P. Fishies
Summary: I needed to get out. Is that so hard to understand? I. Needed. To. Get. Out. SatoshixRisa. Now complete
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I do not own DN ANGEL

**A/N:** I just got this random idea in my head, and I kind of want to know if it sounds interesting. Critisize me, compliment me, do whatever. I just need feedback (please). :)

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Prologue

It was raining when I approached the train station. I was panting, and soaking wet, but I could have cared less. I practically ran into the building, not wanting to miss the train I was about to board.

To tell you the truth, I'm running away. I don't expect you to understand, but I just needed to get away. I mean... up until Daisuke and I had that 'talk', I had been doing alright. My grades were high, my esteem was high, even my hopes were high, sadly enough. I mean... true, Dark had been missing for half a year, but it didn't mean that he was completely gone, right?

Dear God, how pathetic am I? I still kept his black feather. Jesus, I still HAVE his black feather. I still went snooping around the museums late at night, and I _definetely_ still kept an eye on the news for him. Well, until Daisuke spilled everything.

I couldn't take it. I just couldn't. Knowing that Daisuke, the boy that I turned down, was Dark. Every time I would see him, I'd see Dark. I'd pine. I'd long. I'd feel helpless and jealous of my own twin sister. It got so bad that I almost _kissed_ Daisuke. I couldn't keep doing this to myself. I couldn't keep doing this to my sister. As soon as I recieved my first F, in my best class, I knew I had to go. Where? Anywhere. Just as long as I was gone.

"One ticket please," I said, breathless, to the lady behind the booth.

"Where to?" she asked.

"Whatever is open," I said, checking the clock. "And whatever is leaving right now."

"Well..." the lady typed a few things on her computer. "We have a train for Tokyo leaving in five minutes, but-"

"Great!" I exclaimed. "I'll take it."

_"Risa, what is wrong with you?"_

_"Nothing is wrong with me..."_

_"You're lying! You've _been_ lying! Your grades are down, your focus is off, you dress as if you are a male every single day. It's as if you don't care about anything anymore!"_

_"I don't..."_

_"What was that?"_

_"Nothing, Mom."_

I ran down the platform, praying that I hadn't missed it. My last chance, I mean. I almost slipped on the wet cement, but luckily stayed up. I called after the conductor, who was standing on the caboose of a train whose wheels were slowly moving.

The conductir spotted me, looked confused, but I could see that he felt guilty. As the train began to pick up speed, he glanced to see if anyone was looking (but who would be at four in the morning?), then held out a hand that I could grab.

_"Oi, Risa! Are you sure you're alright?"_

_"I'm fine, Riku."_

_"No, you're not. Look at you! Have you no dignity left?"_

_"Not really..."_

"Where are you headed, Miss?" The conductor asked. I handed him my ticket, and he punched it. "Ah... Do your folks know where you are?" I took the ticket stub back and gave him a quick bow.

"Thank you," I said, chosing to ignore his question. I quickly headed inside the train and searched for a place to sit. I didn't have to look too far, but for some reason, I wanted to isolate myself further. So I continued car after car until I would fine one that suited me.

_"Honestly, Risa, I don't know what the hell is wrong with you!"_

_"Dad..."_

_"You are better than this!"_

_"Not really..."_

_"All you have to do is have a little bit of confidence in yourself!"_

_"What your father means is that you can do anything you set your mind to."_

_"Um... thanks?"_

I sighed and took the black baseball cap from my head. How long had I had this hat? Since I was five or something. I just never wore it because, at first, it was too big. Then it was 'not feminine'. Hah. I could care less about being 'feminine' right now.

Mom said that I could do anything I set my mind to? So I set my mind to running away. And you know what? Despite the fact that it was pouring, I was soaked, my heart felt as if it was ripped in two, AND I felt a cold coming on, I felt pretty damn good about myself.

I tried to squeeze as much water as I could from the hat, but it was still considerably damp. Again, I sighed. Was everything I did sighing lately? I must have sighed at least five hundred times that day...

Putting the cap backward on my head, I continued on, for the first time realizing something very important. After this, I didn't know where I was going, or whom I would contact, or what I would do. All I knew is that I was by myself, and I had both my father's and my own Master Card. I pushed aside the guilt I felt for steeling some of Dad's money, and entered yet another train car.

Right then, as we passed over a large bridge, with nothing but a river perhaps half a mile downward, I had never felt so alone in my entire life.

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**A/N:** Basically, its going to be Risa's struggles, and a bit of Satoshi's as well. Hopefully they can help each other? (winwink). So what do you guys think?


	2. Train Ride

Chapter 1

_"You look like a man in those clothes," Riku told me one day._

_I glanced at myself, but then continued watching TV. "Yep."_

_Riku scowled. "Risa... it's sunny. Come and buy an ice cream with us."_

_I tried not to let her see me cringe. I couldn't look at Daisuke the same anymore, and it took all the energy I had not to look at Riku and be ashamed of what I almost did. "Nah. I'm alright."_

_"Risa," Riku said, concerned. "This isn't you."_

_I took a long, painful sigh, then looked at her and said with a shrug, "Now it is."_

"Next stop will be Tokyo! We will arrive in about a half hour!" The conductor's voice echoed throughout the empty train, waking me up. I lifted my head from the seat I was lying on and groaned.

I sneezed. Swearing softly to myself, I sat up and rubbed my temples. There was a headache coming on, probably from all the bumps on the track, and I was feeling rather shitty. I yawned, stood, stretched, then decided to go explore the train... again.

I exited the train car I was currently in, only to nearly fall off. I clutched the handle to the door and almost screamed, but managed to control myself. I looked over the edge, watching the tracks fly by. I soon became dizzy and looked away. I had to blink several time, however, because what I had looked away to was like looking at the impossible.

Unbelieving, I opened the door to the other compartment, and stepped inside. A young man, sitting in the middle of the car, looked over his shoulder. It was only meant to be a mere glance, and I actual held my breath, hoping he wouldn't recognize me. But I knew him, and he wasn't one to miss thing, even the insignificant things, easily. The young man did a double take, then stood. I shot him a sheepish smile and waved.

"Hey."

Instead of just leaving me alone, or ignoring me like he aways did, he watched me. Honest to god, the man scruitinized my every move. He lifted his glasses, cleaned them, then put them back to his face, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing either. I rolled my eyes, and began walking towards him, in actual hope of walking past him to get to the other car. When he showed no signs of moving, I stopped.

"You're wet," he told me.

I looked at him like he was the stupidest ape in the world. "Really? Wow, you are so perceptive!"

He contorted his face at my sudden change of attitude. "Well, _excuse me_." He replied with as much sarcasim as I had, and I found that I didn't like it. Then again, I never really liked him. With a small upsetting pain in my stomach, I tried walking past him, but only got a few steps. "Wait, wait, hold on. What are you doing here?"

I stopped again, this time out of surprise. It's sad, really. How that was the most he had ever talked to me in my entire life.

"None of your business, really," I responded, not wishing to tell him the ins and outs of my complicated situation. "What about yourself?"

He didn't respond immediately, but I could feel his eyes, those horrid, critisising blue eyes, on me. I turned around and gave him a face, as if to say, "What the hell do you want?" It didn't faze him. Nothing ever did. He seemed puzzled, as he tilted his head to the side, crossed his arms, and shifted his weight from his right foot to his left.

"You look like a man."

Now, in all my years I have ever known him, I had never in my life been so ofended. It struck me as odd that I would be offended, when my sister and mother had told me so first, by him, the one person I truly did not give a damn about. It just... hurt. I felt the tears coming to my eyes, and was more frustrated than upset. I bit my lower lip, looked away, and crossed my own arms.

"Well, thanks," I said, my tone ice cold. "I really need you to tell me that." I heard him clear his throat. Both of us remembered when he dressed in drag to try and catch Dark.

Dark.

My love's name again, ringing throughout my ears. Oh I was such a pathetic little wench! What was wrong with me? Anything? Everything? God, just thinking of his name, I was thrown into a depression again. I must have been going mad. I saw flashes of his face, his beautiful smile, those amazing wings, and my breath caught in my throat. I coughed, some tears finally spilling, but that only made more reappear. Wanting not to embarass myself, I walked away quickly.

_Dark. Oh, Dark... why can't I just forget you?_

I nearly shrieked when I felt a hand enclose around my wrist. If it weren't for his fast reactions, I would have smacked him right across the face. Not on purpose, mind you.

"Don't kill me, Harada-san," he said, something strange in his voice. "I was only going to appologize."

I pulled free from his grasp, rather forcefully, and made sure he couldn't see me crying. "It's Risa. And you don't have to appologize." I mentally kicked myself when I heard my own voice crack. Then I changed my mind. "Actually... I didn't even do anything. You insulted me." I spun around to face him. "You can appologize."

Satoshi Hiwatari's brows furrowed. I expected him to say something harsh, or smart ass, like, "Now I don't want to." or "Bite me.". Yet, shockingly, Satoshi sucked in his gut, gave me a small bow, and said, "I'm sorry, Harada-san. I did not meant to offend you."

I blinked, then swatted his arm. "I was being serious."

He rolled his eyes. "So was I." He then took out a handkercheif from his pocket. "Here."

I hesitated before I slowly took the small item from his hand. I wiped my eyes, and nearly melted in the smoothness of the handkercheif. It was silk, the really expensive kind too. I fidled with it in my hands, and mumbled, "Thanks."

He took a breath, nodded, then shoved his hands in his pockets. We were stuck in awkward silence before I gave the handkercheif back to him. he took it, then continued to stare out the window. Not knowing what else to do, I turned to leave. I heard a small, quick intake of breath, meaning that he was about to speak.

"Where are you headed?"

"Uh... Tokyo," I replied. I glanced at him. "This is where this train is going."

He waved it away. "Well, yes, but after that?"

I froze. Where was I going to go after that? "... Why would you even care?"

He snorted, then shook his head. "Nevermind."

"Fine," I said.

"_Fine_."

"Fine!" I exited the car, entered the next, exited that one, then entered the next. When I was sure that no one else was with me, I let out a loud scream, and threw a punch at a nearby cushioned seat. Here I was, snapping and being rude to someone who was nice to me. Somene, who normally isn't nice to me, being kind.

There was something wrong with me. Something terribly, terribly wrong.

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**A/N:** So what did y'all think? Too stupid or actually good?


	3. We WHAT?

**A/N:** Sorry I haven't updated as often as I usually do. This is a rather slow story for me. I'm still trying to put bits and pieces together. But anyway. Hope you guys like it!

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Chapter2 

_"Risa... honey... can you take the hat from your head, please?" Mom sounded as if the hat were a gun._

_I sighed, glaring at her as if she would be the death of me, but took off the hat. "Why can't I wear it when I'm not even in public?"_

_"Well... because," Mom replied, fidling with her food via fork. "I said so."_

_"Because she looks like a man..." Dad muttered._

_I heard Mom kick him, and Dad grunted. He shot me a look, as if I didn't even belong to the family anymore; like I was just a dog to be taken care of._

I stepped off of the train, onto Tokyo Station, and inhaled deeply. I wobbled a bit, but managed to stay standing. I supposed being on a train for a long, long time would kind of make you a bit unstable (in the knees). As I looked around the station, I felt a weird pain in my stomach.

I shook off the fact that I was alone, and tried to think of what to do next. The first thing that came to mind was getting even farther away; getting so far that they would have thought my dead. Like if I had just flown away. But where would be far enough?

I checked my wallet, which I had stuck in my back pocket, and felt the guilt slowly seeping through. I shivered, but kept the philosiphy I had been keeping for months.

_Be numb. Just let everything be numb._

I wondered where Satoshi had been heading to, but then was disgusted at the thought of his face. I walked out of the station, trying to think of a haven for myself. I boarded a local city bus and took a seat. I had no idea where the bus was heading, I noticed, but all I knew was that it was going away. And that is exactly what I was looking for.

Yet, how far could I possibly go? America seemed lightyears away, and I still wasn't completely used to the 'bad' Risa. I did, however, NOT want to be caught by the Emperor's army, so America did sound like a nice place. Still... it was an awful lot of money, and hours away... I sighed, not wanting to think about it.

I looked out the window as other passengers boarded the bus, but was startled when someone sat next to me. I casually glanced at who it would be, but froze.

"What the hell-?"

"Don't use such language," Satoshi told me. "It's improper."

My jaw dropped. "Are you _following_ me?"

He glared at me, telling me that I was stupid. "The bus is almost full. I'm heading to the airport, if you don't mind."

I tried to speak, but found it difficult.Satoshi just turned the other way and ignored me. I wanted to punch his face, but thought that the glass from his glasses would be quite painful.

_Just be numb, Risa._

I muttered foul insults, to which I'm sure Satoshi did not approve of, and glared at the window as the bus was put into motion. Oh yes, I was definitely going to America.

* * *

_"Risa, look! It's so pretty outside!" Riku ran around the backyard, laughing her head off. _

_"Yes... it's... nice," I said with a shrug. It truly was beautiful, though. the sun shining and the grass finally growing green. It had been a long winter._

_"See, Risa! Snow always melts away sooner or later!" Daisuke told me with a grin._

_I looked away quickly, busying myself by twidling my thumbs. "Yep."_

_"And you thought spring would never come," Riku teased, sticking out her tongue at me. With that, the two lovers gasped and became awed at other signs that spring was about. I stayed put, in a chair on the deck, listening to my music._

_For me, it was still winter._

"Hey, is she awake?"

I blinked several hundred times, trying to make my eyes regain focus. There were more hushed tones, then footsteps walking away. I wondered, as I yawned and stretched my neck, why it was so dark. I looked over in Satoshi's direction. He was reading a book silently.

"Where are we?" I asked.

Satoshi looked up from his book, over his glasses, at smething far off in the distance. He scowled and closed his book. He checked his watch. I patiently waited for him to answer me, but he merely swore and stood up.

"What is it?" I asked. "Where are we?"

"Somewhere very far."

I deflated and groaned. "Damnit..."

Satsohi began walking away, and I followed him. I hadn't really meant to, but he seemed to be the only one who knew what was going on. We stepped off of the bus, into a bus station. I took in the surrounding. There were buses, coach buses, trucks, rental cars, all surrounded by a fence and barbed wire. I blinked at the tiny station perhaps a few yards away.

"Uhh..." I didn't really know what to say, or what to do, because at that moment in time, I noticed that it was still dark. As in the streetlamps were on. As in my butt was numb like it was when I had been sitting in a car for two hours. But, judging by the way my neck cracked, and my other bones cracked as well, it had been much more than two hours. I slowly turned towards Satoshi. He looked as if he was awaiting his death.

"Where-?"

"This is the end of the road, kids," the bus driver said from behind us. I glanced at him. "You'll have to be finding a room someplace or something."

"Hiwatari-san..." I focused in on his eyes. "Can you please tell me what happened?"

He swallowed, but tried not to let me see it. "We missed our stop apparently."

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**A/N:** Review please! I always love those :) 


	4. Stuck With Him

**A/N:** Hey guys! Sorry it's taking me so long to update. This is the only story I posted that I hadn't written all of the chapters beforehand. -.-; Well, anyway. I hope you all enjoy!

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Chapter 3 

It would be safe to say that I did not care about anything else that had ever happened before that moment in time. If I had ever been angry at anyone or anything, I no longer remembered who or what it was. All I knew was that I was mad. I don't remember much of the bus station. I remember kicking a rock at Satoshi, not _originally_ meaning for it to jump up and hit his head, but... oh well. It must have been a really big rock, because Satoshi now had quite a gash on his forehead.

I think it was the bus driver that offered to drive us to the nearest motel so we could rent out a room... or two, if I was really that angry, which I was. Despite my foul language and attitude, the driver said that sticking together was the best thing. Apparently there were people in this part of town that "you don't wanna go messin 'round wit". Well, I didn't give a damn about darkness, or monsters, or weird people. I just didn't want to face the ass that had gotten me into this mess. Especially when I found out that we would not only be sharing a motel room, but there was only one bed in said room.

Perhaps that's why I was standing outside that night, gazing up at the stars, trying to calm myself.

It wasn't my fault I got so upset! His excuse was that he was reading (_reading_!) and that's why he didn't wake me up **OR** notice that we had missed our stop. What kind of crap is that?

I sighed, choking back tears. When had I developed such a low tolerance level? Since when was I so prone to being upset, or depressed, or angry? It was begining to get annoying actually. I didn't like this new me. I never liked this new me. I missed my old self, who never hurt anyone. Looking up at the stars that night, the thought crossed my mind: The old me that Dark loved.

But Dark never loved me. I was sure of it. He had cared for me, and he hadn't wanted to see me hurt, but he never _loved_ me...

There was a horrible pain in my heart, and I let one tear slide down my cheek. I angrily kicked a nearby pebble and cursed. Stupid heart. Why was I so obsessed with him? Just because he was my first love... The first love is never the last. So why can't I stop thinking about him? Because I'm retarded. No, I'm not retarded. I'm sad.

Giving up, I sat down on the curb. I shivered, realizing that my clothes were still wet from this morning. I flared when the thoughts of this morning led back to Satoshi. He hadn't woken me up, and I had fallen asleep for the entire day. Do buses run the entire day? What if he payed the bus driver just to drive around town and bring me here, just so he could laugh at my pain? Bastard...

I was being unreasonable, I knew it, but I was angry. I needed to vent on someone.

I heard the door to room 10 open, and instantly I felt his eyes glaring at me. Instead of snapping at him, or being mean, I felt myself crumble. I brought my knees to my chest and shut my eyes tight, wanting nothing more than for him to stop looking at me. I hated how just one stare could make me feel more inferior than a worm.

"Go away," I mumbled. I didn't sound very demanding or angry. I guessed I was tired.

Satoshi just sat down next to me. I buried my face in my arms, not wanting him to see the tear streaks on my cheeks. I heard him sigh softly.

"Nice night." I was surprised when he spoke. "Reminds me of Middle School." At that, I felt my heart rip open again.

"What _is_ it with you and making my life a living hell?" I said, my words muffled.

Satoshi paused. Several times, I heard him inhale, as if he was going to speak, but he would always hold his breath, then exhale heavily, conjuring nothing. We sat still for a very, very long time.

_"Dark! Why are you running from me?"_

_I felt myself being held by strong arms. I hugged my love closer, never wanting to let go. He was surprised, and he didn't really know what to do. I felt him moving away, but I didn't want him to go._

_"Dark, please don't avoid me! I love you!"_

_His lips tasted nice when I kissed him. So soft and gentle. I couldn't even breathe..._

At last, Satoshi stood, and I heard him yawn. I gasped at the pain sweeling in my heart, but was thankful that he didn't hear me. Shivering again, I pulled myself into an even tighter ball. Then Satoshi did something I never really thought he would do. He suddenly became a gentleman.

"I'll sleep on the couch," he said. "You can have the bed. In the morning, we'll catch a bus back into town." He paused again, sorting things out. I felt him looking at me. It was such an irritable feeling. "You're going to catch a cold if you stay in those clothes." I felt something large being draped around my shoulders. It was almost familiar in a way, and I inhaled the smell of fresh cotton. "There are bathrobes in the bathroom. I... uhh... You can take a warm shower and dry your clothes..."

I slowly relaxed, letting go of my legs. I looked up to face him, and gave a small smile. I know it doesn't seem like much, but it was the only thing I could muster. I almost rehid myself once I saw his bandaged wound.

"Thanks." Was all I could say.

Satoshi coughed, uncomfortable. He just shrugged and nodded. "Yes. Well then... goodnight." He entered the room, but left the door slightly ajar.

There was something strange about this whole ordeal. I mean... not only were the two of us lost and seemingly pissed at each other, but there was just something more. I couldn't explain it as I drifted off to sleep that night. It was almost like a feeling of... safety.

_No,_ I thought to myself. _I hate this. I hate him. I hate my life. When we get back to town, I'm heading on a plane to America and that way I'll never have to speak to him again. Which I _will _be fine with._

_

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**A/N: **Is rehid even a word? (pauses) Well, now it is. :P Review please!


	5. Of Breakfasts and Phone Calls

**A/N:** Thanks for reviewing, everyone! I love those so much! Review for this chapter because I don't know if I did a crappy job on it. -.-;

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Chapter4 

_"Wait here for me," Dark told me, flashing his trademark grin. He opened the door to the Ferris Wheel car that we were in, and literally jumped. At first, I was going to follow, but I restrained myself._

_"I'll wait for you, Dark!" I called after him._

I started, my eyes fluttering open. Heaving a sigh, I closed them again. Again and again, I inhaled deeply, but I could not fall back asleep. It was morning anyway, and I found myself groaning and sitting up in bed. I yawned, cracked my neck, checked to make sure I was still in my bathrobe (and I was), then sat. I didn't really want to get up, but I didn't want to fall back asleep and dream about the past... again. I was so tired of abusing myself.

I looked around at the room. I wasn't startled that it didn't belong to me. More along the lines of irritated. Yet I was strangely at peace with the whole ordeal. That is, until I found the couch empty.

I don't know if my scream was loud enough to wake the neighbors, but I was surprised that the windows stayed in tact.

"That stupid, selfish, son of a bitch!" I let out another scream and flopped down onto the bed. "Why do you always have to do this! Such a stupid bastard! You should have kicked his ass the moment we were stuck in this goddamn heap of junk!" My words were muffled, but it felt good to be letting out rage with no one staring at me. "You've told yourself time and time again that you need to be more careful-!"

"Harada-san?"

I stopped when I heard a voice, but I chose not to move. I hadn't even heard the door open, but I knew, just by the tingly feeling in my spine, who it was. All my anger suddenly disappeared and turned into embarassment. There was an awkward pause as I tried to say something that would return my dignity.

"It's Risa," I mumbled.

_Dear Risa-chan,_

_We miss the old you! When is she coming back? You know we're always here if you want to talk about whatever has been bugging you. Trust us, we're your friends! You need to come back, ok? We'll help you too! How about ice cream, this friday night? We'll watch movies and laugh and cry and pig out until we explode! It'll be our getting-back-the-old-Risa party:) What do you say?_

_Sincerely,_

_Everyone who loves you (AKA: you're best friends)_

"I went to get some breakfast," Satoshi said, setting a brown bag down on the table in the next room. "Are bagels, muffins, and coffee ok?"

I sat up in bed, embarassed as hell. I tried taking a few breaths and thought of what I could say to take away the redness from my cheeks. Nothing really worked, but I decided to stand nonetheless. As I entered the room with the table (it was too small to be called a kitchen), I yawned. Sunlight from outside almost blinded me, but I squinted my eyes. I also noticed Satoshi was wearing his normal clothes, which he had to be wearing if he went out in public, so I guessed my clothes were ready as well. I sat down.

"Thanks," I said, giving him a small smile.

Satoshi just nodded, grabbed a bagel (which he stuck in his mouth), picked up his coffee, and motioned that he was going to be outside. I was struck odd by him stuffing the bagel in his mouth, because that seemed like something Satoshi wouldn't do. I just shook it away and began eating my breakfast.

* * *

I stood, not really wanting to sit, and walked over to the door. I wanted to thank Satoshi for being so kind to me, I really did. I suppose I just wasn't really in the mood, though. I don't know. I ended up sitting on the windowsill, watching him discreetly from the corner of my eye. After all, I didn't want some hick to kidnap him. How would I face his parents? 

"If you're going to stare at me," he spoke up, and I heard him through the crack of the open door. "You might want to be more surruptitious."

I felt my face heat up, but I rolled my eyes. "Yes, because I defintely know what surruptitious means."

"Secretive, sly," Satoshi explained. His back was still turned towards me. He paused before asking, "Are you alright?"

I stood, a bit shocked at the question. "... I'm fine. Not like that would effect you in any way, shape, or form." I mentally kicked myself for being so harsh. Exiting the motel room door, I sighed.

I could almost feel him stiffen. He was uncomfortable. And all I was doing was standing next to him. How strange. It still made me feel guilty, however, and I fiddled with the lid of my coffee cup. He would remain quiet, taking a sip of his drink every now and then. When he breathed, I noticed that the breaths were visible. I inhaled deeply and exhaled, seeing my own breath. It was a cool, spring morning after all. I smiled to myself, remembering the past with Riku. We would always be childish and pretend we were trains just to see our breaths disappear in the air.

"Content with life?" Satoshi asked suddenly.

I gasped, a bit surprised. I coughed because I had sipped in hot coffee too quickly, managed to give him a glare, but was able to control myself. I then nodded. "Not really."

I heard a small, amused 'hmph'.

"How's your wound?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I was lucky to find advil in the bathroom closet."

I bit my lip, feeling bad. "Sorry about that. I really am. I just lost control."

There was a pained look upon Satoshi's face, and it was as if he was about to speak. He cleared his throat, but instead took to looking at the trees. We fell silent, listening to the morning doves sing.

* * *

Sooner or later I ended up back inside the motel room. I was in the bathroom, about to take my bathrobe off and take a nice... long... hot shower, but something vibrated in my pocket. I shrieked, but managed to calm myself down and I reached into my jeans and pulled out my cell phone. I mentally smacked myself, knowing full well that I could have called a taxi service or... something of that sort. 

I hesitated before flipping it open. The number who was calling me wouldn't be very happy. "Hello?"

"RISA!" I had to hold the phone away from my ear. I heard foul words and someone else shouting. I cringed. "Risa, is that you!"

"... Yes," I said very quietly, bringing the phone back to my ear.

"RISA! YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!" Again, I held the phone away. I heard someone, probably mom or Riku, scolding Dad.

"What's the problem?" I asked, trying to sound as if I didn't care.

"Where are you?" Dad questioned.

"Practically the middle of nowhere," I replied truthfully. "But why would you care? I thought someone like you would abandon a dog if it wanders away."

There was an infuriated pause, where all Dad could do was stutter. I heard Riku shouting, "You are not a dog!" I guessed they had it on speaker phone.

"Risa," Dad said ominously. "Come home now."

I swallowed. "N-no." Before he could even repeat my words, I said them again. "No! I needed to be away for a while, ok? I'll come back soon enough."

"You will come back today, young lady," Mom said. Dad shushed her.

"I will send a squad team to find you, if that's what it takes," Dad told me. I didn't like the way it sounded; it wasn't a comforting statement. "If you don't come home today, Risa, so help me God, I will-"

"You do _not_ threaten me," I said suddenly, surprising myself.

Dad shut up. "Excuse me?"

"You. _Do not_. _Threaten_. Me," I said, my words dripping with acid. "I will not be intimidated simply because you're pissed off." There was a long moment in silence, in which I was proud of myself for being so strong.

There was a knock on the door and I yelped, jumping back. Satoshi entered, looking confused.

"I didn't say to come in!" I hissed at him. He looked taken aback.

"Risa, who is that?" Dad piped up.

I rolled my eyes, turning away from my intruder. "Satoshi Hiwatari. He's a friend from school, who kind of got us into this mess-"

"What mess?"

"We're just stuck in a motel room-"

"WHAT! RISA, IF YOU DO NOT COME HOME TODAY-!"

Listening to Dad errupt over the phone, I felt my face pale. I wasn't so strong anymore when I heard him stomping around the room. Instantly, my thoughts went to Riku and Mom. What if they got in the way of his rage? Dad never really got this angry, ever. But I remember once when I was really, really, really little, Mom had a bruise on her eye one night... but then I noticed, in retrospect, that Dad had begun to go to counseling, and he had bought her roses, and he had watched chick flicks with her. He wasn't a horrible dad... he just... scared me when he was this angry.

"Dad?" I listened closly to the voices on the other side of the phone. "Dad! Dad, come back!" I felt myself shivering when I heard a door slam shut. I thought I heard quiet sobs, but I wasn't sure.

"Risa, honey, we'll call you later." It was Mom. She didn't sound hurt. But then again, she had been pretty well at concealing that bruise. I heard the phone line click, and I was stuck with dead silence. Slowly... ever so slowly... I could feel myself collapse.

I fell to my knees, tears coming from nowhere. I cursed. I cried and I cursed my brains out. Every now and then, I'd slam my fist into the ground, fed up with myself.

When had I become like this? When was I the cause of Dad's anger outbursts? When had Riku actually cried for my sake? When had I been such a dissruption to the family?

When had I stopped caring about everything?

* * *

**A/N:** Was it ok? 


	6. Comforting Words

**A/N:** To address some concerns: It's ok if you write a lot in your reviews. Or even if you write just a sentance. They help me write better, especially the long ones. :) Well, anyway. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 5 

When had I stopped caring? I used to have a care for everything in the world, more or less. Now I just cared about... nothing. I hardly cared about myself anymore. Not like I'd be stupid enough to commit suicide, but I have no pride left. I found nothing good in my personality at all.

When had I become like that? Like this?

As I choked on my sobs, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I flinched, but relaxed. It was only Satoshi. See how pathetic that is? I wasn't even embarassed that he had seen my cry! Not like I should be, but he has probably never seen anyone cry. Ever.

"I'm fine," I lied, my voice cracking.

There was a long moment of silence. I know that doesn't sount like much, but believe me. It was much. It came to the point where I just didn't even bother to conceal my sudden sobbings. It came to the point where it was incredibly eire. It came to the point where Satoshi's hand got sweaty on my shoulder, which is kind of gross, but I didn't notice it at the moment in time.

"I'm sorry," he finally said after a while. We had changed our positions, our backs against the cabinet, sitting on the floor. We just sat like that.

I almost laughed. "What are you sorry for?"

He looked away from me, regret filling his eyes. "I don't know. For... for ruining your life, I guess."

I blinked. "What?"

"For getting us into this mess," he said, looking a little irritated, but more along the lines of embarassed. What would the girls back at school think when I would tell them that I saw Satoshi Hiwatari blush? "For not waking you up. For making you angry. For saying that you looked like a man. I don't know. I'm just sorry. I'm sorry that I ruined your life."

He crossed his arms and straightened his legs out. He couldn't look at me.

I felt something strange in my stomach, and I gave a small smile. No lie. I actually smiled. Hugging my knees to my chest, I sighed. "No." He stiffened. "You didn't ruin my life." I paused. "It would take more to actually _ruin_ it. But I don't think it's possible that _you_, Hiawatari-kun, could _ruin_ it."

He shifted his weight and adjusted his glasses. For some reason, this action seemed to say, "Really?"

I shrugged. "Look at it this way-" He glanced at me. "I'm not dead yet."

A smile. I swear to god, he flashed me a smile. A real, true, kind smile. It wasn't even a sad smile, or a forced smile, or an annoyed sneer. It was a genuine smile. It ended as soon as it came, but I had seen it. I had seen Satoshi Hiwatari smile.

He stood, stretching. I heard him grunt, but he exhaled deeply. Then he extended his arm to help me up. I was a bit confused, but I took his hand and he lifted me up with surprising ease.

It wasn't until after I had taken my shower did I notice that Satoshi had picked me up before. As in, the grip on his hand felt familiar. Or, rather... the warmth I felt when he picked me up felt familiar. At that time, I just shook it away, but I'm begining to think there was a hidden meaning in that hand. Like, a metaphor or something...

* * *

I grabbed my black baseball cap and put it on my head backwards. Satoshi held the door open for me. A strange expression occupied his face once I had put my hat on. A bit frustrated, I scowled at him. 

"What?"

He cleared his throat, looked away from me, then shrugged. "Nothing. Sorry."

"Why say sorry?" I blurted this out before I could really think. I almost gasped at my forwardness, but I decided to at least act like I knew what I was doing.

He almost flinched, but withheld his professional composure. "Pardon?"

"Why did you say that you were sorry?" I asked again. He hesitated as we walked outside, and I groaned. "Oh, I get it. It's because I look like a man, isn't it?"

He coughed, shook his head a few times, and said, "That wasn't it."

I was about to call him a liar, but:

1. The bus was coming down the road.

2. He had sounded sincerely confident, so I didn't want to embarass myself.

3. He had been incredibly nice to me in the past twelve hours, so I owed him.

* * *

We boarded the bus, hoping to reach the airport soon. Sadly, it became increasingly obvious that the bus wouldn't reach the airport (or a town) for a long, long while. I spend the entire bus ride doing nothing, almost falling asleep. It was annoying, really. Mostly because I had time to refelect on past regrets. The one that came up the most often was how I had been/was treating Satoshi. He was doing a damn good job not losing his temper at me, and he was almost kind, in a weird way that only Satoshi Hiwatari can be kind. 

My gaze went from the window (which was giving a very nice view of farmland), and landed upon his face. He was reading again. The same book as I had seen before. I recognized the title, but forgot what it was about. I didn't want to ask, because I knew as soon as I would, the atmosphere would become awkward. I was really too content with the silence.

Yet God hates me. So I had to say something.

"I'm sorry."

God hates me. He hates me. He hates me, he hates me, he hates me.

Satoshi blinked, losing his book world, and coming back to reality. He glanced at me, adjusted his glasses, then decided to sit back and give me a quizical look. I felt my face heat up.

"About the way I've been treating you," I mumbled, twidling my thumbs. "All you've done is been nice to me, and I... well, I... I was mean." How little kid-ish did I sound exactly?

Satoshi took a deep breath. "You've been through a lot. It's understandable."

"It doesn't make it right," I pushed on, touched by his maturity. "So I'm sorry. For putting you through my bad attitude."

Shifting his weight in the seat, he cracked his neck and yawned. He reached out, took the cap from my head and placed it upon his own. The front half covered his face as he slid down in the seat. I almost _wanted_ to ask him why he was being so relaxed. He could change moods in an instant.

"We'll trade," he said, making no sense to me. "I'll sleep and you can read my book."

I slowly took the novel from his hands. "Uhh..."

"Just don't lose my spot," Satoshi told me. With that, he closed his eyes. His chest moved up and down as he breathed.

I was stuck, sitting there. Not really knowing what to do. "Umm..."

"It's ok," Satoshi mumbled. "You'll like it. It's a good book." I looked at the title once again (it was called House), and I wondered if Satoshi was in to these kinds of books. It looked like a clash between horror and suspense.

I finally felt myself relax as I caved. I smiled at him, and placed his bookmark in the place he had left off. "Thanks, Hiwatari-kun."

He waved it away sleepily. We were silent for a moment, while I opened the book to page 1. I was only on page 3 when he spoke again.

"In a manner of facts," Satoshi said as if it were nothing. "The cap hides your hair, which is one of the most attractive things about you." He yawned again. "Other than your eyes, that is."

There really was only one word that popped into my mind after Satoshi had said that: Huh?

Here I was, being a bipolar brat, treating him like crap half of the time. We were both lost, both running away (or that's what I assumed), both somewhat uncomfortable with each other's company. And he was calling me attractive? No, no it wasn't even that. He said that my eyes were the most attractive thing about me. What does it mean when a guy says that your eyes are the prettiest thing about you? It means he hasn't just been looking at your slim waist/pretty face/popularity status. It means he has actually been noticing things that other guys wouldn't. As in your smiles, and your personality, and what you like/dislike.

Why the _hell_ would Satoshi Hiwatari be so observant like that? And since when?

* * *

**A/N:** Whoa now. Satoshi complementing Risa? (pause) Is that OOC? I tried to make it seem like it wouldn't be. Hm... Oh well. You tell me! 


	7. Goodbye?

**A/N:** Sorry it's been a while. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 6

_It had been a rooftop. An incredibly tall rooftop, and I was standing right at the edge. Right at the edge where my sister had jumped off. I looked into the darkness below and closed my eyes to breathe. I felt as if I would faint..._

_All I heard was sirens. I shivered in the cool wind, but looked around. I could have sworn that I saw him. Why else would there be sirens everywhere?_

_"Dark!" I called out, reaching out for a tall figure in the darkness. "Dark!"_

_The figure didn't even turn to look at me. He just flew off, leaving me in a cloud of feathers. I started, yelping in surprise._

_I almost fell off the bench I was on. Scared, I began to take deep breaths. I looked around at the park, wondering how on earth I had gotten there. I then noticed a jacket lying across my slender legs. I picked it up, as if in a daze. Something small fell from the pocket._

_A white feather?_

"Where are you headed?" I asked Satoshi as we stood in front of the airport doors. I was pretty sure that both of us didn't want to move. I was uncertain of where I was going, and Satoshi... well, he was just hesitant for some reason.

He caughed, shrugging. "What about you?"

I froze up. Lie, Risa. Just lie. It's not that hard. "... I don't know." Son of a-

"You don't know?" Satoshi repeated.

"A-all I know is that wherever I'm headed needs to be far away," I said quietly. I began twidling my thumbs. It's a stupid habbit I have since I was little.Satoshi was practically scruitinizing me.

"Why would that be?" he questioned. "I thought after that phonecall from your father-"

"I'm thinking America," I interrupted. I then nodded, as if confirming my decision. "Yeah, America." I picked up my bag, slung it over my shoulder, but paused before going into the airport. "Where are you flying to?"

Satoshi took a deep breath. "England. My father sent me on an errand run. He might be mad that I'm late..."

I almost wanted to tell him to screw the trip and come with me. I mean... if his father was on his nerves, he might as well run away too, right? I stopped myself, though. The question arose of why I would want him to come with me in the first place. Then came my answer, which I was not too thrilled with.

"Right..." I said, looking away. We were stuck in an odd silence. I breathed in deep, straightened up the best I could, and smiled at him. "Well, then... I guess I'll be seeing you."

He looked at me. It was a look I had never really seen him give anyone. Concerned... reluctant... "Are you going to be ok?"

For some reason I got choked up, and I couldn't speak. I cleared my throat, with difficulty, but managed to keep my smile. "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. Sure you can stay a gentleman in England?"

He didn't even crack a smile. He just looked incredibly resistant. So unsure, for the first time in his life.

"I'll be fine," I said. I wondered why he cared so much, and the scene from the bus came back to me. I shivered, but didn't let it show. "So... yeah. See you around." I turned and began walking towards the door.

"Harada-san." My hand stopped on the door. "... Take care of yourself."

Why did he have to be such a caring bastard? All he had to do was shut up, and I would have been fine. But NO! He just _had_ to say that and choke me up and almost make me cry. What an asshole.

I couldn't even face him. I just pulled the door open and waved at him over my back. God... I'm such a horrible person.

* * *

I had bought my ticket, and I had fed myself, and I had boarded the plane. I was full, set and pretty much ready to go. I would have to rent a car in America, or perhaps a hotel room or something, but I didn't care. There were hotels everywhere in that country. I was ok. I was going to be alright. 

So why did I feel so empty?

As I settled into my seat, I sighed. What was I to do with myself now? I could sleep, but God only knows what I would dream of. I could... well, I could... uhh...

God damnit. I hated to admit it... but without Satoshi there, life was more boring than it had ever been. Sure, I was running away, using a stolen credit card, able to be tracked at any time, and visiting a forgein countryall by myself. And I wasn't excited at all. It was as if I was on a family vacation or something.

Was I having phsyciological issues? Maybe I was... Especially if I thought life was boring without the one kid that probably did not enjoy my company at all. Oh, yes. I was definitely having phsyciological issues.

* * *

The voice of the flight attendent was loud enough to make me open my eyes. I groaned and yawned, but stretched. Only a few more minutes before we landed. I looked out the window at the clouds rushing by. The clouds soon turned into a light blue sky, with birds flying off in the distance. I checked my watch and swore softly. I had fallen asleep, then had woken back up, then had daydreamed, then had fallen back asleep, woke up, and finally fell back asleep after an hour of doing nothing. I wasn't sure how long the ride had been, and I didn't even know what time it was now, but I knew I had finally reached my destination. My entire body ached, and I felt a headache coming on, but there was something more that engulfed me.

Adreneline. Excitement. Fear. Wonder.

Here I was. At last. Away from my family. Away from my problems. Away from stupid Japan. And, last but not least, away from the kid that hated me the most. I, Risa Harada, had successfully run away. So...

Now what?

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry it's so short and choppy, but I need to know what y'all think! Reviews are lovely! 


	8. Welcome to America

**A/N:** Sorry it's been taking me so long. I hit a writer's block, and I had finals (which I still have more to study for as I type this) and... yeah. Hope you all enjoy this!

* * *

Chapter 7

As I walked down the sidewalks of the busy town, I tried to search for a hotel. It didn't take too long to find one, but it would be hard finding one that didn't look like it cost $1000 a night.

I once made the mistake of stopping in the middle of the sidewalk so I could look around at the shops, and a man bumped into me through the crowd. I stumbled and appologized, but he just glared at me as if I was a rat, and grumbled curses like, "Stupid tourists." and walked away.

It was odd, trying to belong in this country. Everyone sounded so forgein. I mean... I had taken English in school, but I had barely scraped by with an average B. English was really hard, and I much rather prefered Japanese. Americans talked _so slow_. And there were slang terms and double meanings for everything.

I soon found a hotel with reasonably priced rooms, and rented one for the night. I didn't really know quite what to do with myself after that. I was in a whole different country, and I didn't know what to do. How sad is that?

* * *

I'm not going to go into any boring details. Because there are more important things that must be dicussed since I last explained my situation. 

Because now I'm in the arms of a complete stranger, after almost being raped by some old, Italian dude. See, I was in this casino, NOT drinking and NOT gambling, but just hanging out. And the old man came on to me, so I left, but he followed me WITH his thugs, and they chased me down the boardwalk, AND over to the hotel and... yeah.

Then I actually ran into someone when I entered the hotel. I hadn't realized that when I had wanted to run faster, I had actually been slowing down somewhat. When I should have run a man over, I practically collapsed against the feel of them.

"Whoa..." The deep voice of whoever caught me was almost comforting. I felt strong arms holding me up, and felt... well, safe. Then I heard the doors open, and the sound of men breathing heavily.

"Excuse me, sir," the voice of a familiar, creepy, old man said. "That girl belongs to me."

What was I, a dog?

"She is a human being," the kind stranger said, his voice harsh. "She belongs to no one."

"What I mean is..." the old man struggled to catch his breath and sound sophisticated at the same time. I had to give him and his goons credit for running so fast though. "She has something of mine."

"What is it?" The stranger questioned. It was then I recognized the Japanese accent.

"Uh..." the old man coughed. "Some money she stole from my casino."

"She has done no such thing," the stranger said with a rather convincing tone. I felt one arm leave the hold of my body, and sawthis mantake out a wallet from his back pocket. He held it up so they would see it. "I am a police captain, and an undercover agent assigned to protect this girl as she does our facility a few favors. Her actions and behaviors while in the United States have been, and will continue to be, carefully monitored. So far, I have seen no theft."

The old man was just as stunned as I was. "Uh... b-but-"

"Would you like me to bring you down to headquarters, _sir_?" The stranger asked, practically spitting out the word 'sir'.

"N-no... that won't be necessary." With that, I was left to the stranger, and the old man exited in a huff.

* * *

I must have fainted or something after the old man and his goons left. I can remember the kind stranger asking if I was alright, but I didn't respond. I passed out instead. Now my neck hurt, I felt a headache coming on, and I was lying in a bed. Problem being, I didn't know who's bed I was lying upon. 

I groaned at the throbbing pain in my temples, but opened my heavy eyelids. I had to blink a few times, because it was still dark, and my eyes had to adjust to the light change. I heard some small noises and managed to heave my upper body upward. I rubbed my head and looked around to see a small light coming from the bathroom of my hotel room.

Wait... how did I get into my hotel room. And how did I get into my bed?

As an answer, a man emerged from my bathroom and looked at me. The worst part about this was... well, he was kind of drying his hair with a towel, and... his shirt was kind of off, and... his jeans were set really low so I could see his boxers, and... he wasn't bad looking, but...

No, none of that was a bad thing. The half naked guy standing in my hotel room after just taking a shower was not a bad thing. The bad thing was that I knew who the half naked man was. All I could do was stare, with my mouth hung wide open.

Satoshi Hiwatari weakly at me. "Sorry... I hadn't showered today. Do you mind?"


	9. What Is He Doing Here Again?

Chapter 8

Did I mind?

DID I MIND!

HE was supposed to be going to EUROPE while I was in AMERICA! Now he was standing in my hotel room, half naked, after just saving my life from a potential rapist, and asking me if I'm ok with his dripping wet, and incredibly attractive, body standing a mere ten feet in front of me?

**OF COURSE I MINDED!**

"... N-no," I squeaked. Then I coughed, mentally slapped myself, and demanded to know what he was in my hotel room.

He raised an eyebrow. "Umm... taking a shower after saving your life?"

It was then that I told him to put a shirt on and be happy with his remaining time on earth before I slapped the shit out of him. After he snorted, probably trying to conceal a laugh, I tossed one pillow at him, missing by half in inch, then decided to stick my head under the remaining four pillows that were spread across the bed.

It was becoming harder and harder not to turn pink while looking at Satoshi without his shirt on.

"Alright, alright," he finally said with a laugh, which was weird because he never laughed. "I have a shirt on. You can come out now."

I lifted a pillow from my line of vision to see him putting his glasses back on. For a minute in time, everything seemed to be ok. Like, he was smiling at me all nice, and I wasn't screaming my head off at him, and... it everything was just right with the world.

The he opened his mouth. "They didn't have any open rooms. Can I stay here for the rest of the night?"

* * *

_"You know, Hiwatari-kun," I said, sounding annoyed. "You really should look at the more beautiful things in like. Autum isn't that bad." We had been walking home from school that day._

_Satoshi snorted, not believing me. "Right."_

_The next morning, I saw him in the library. He was looking through a row of books, obviously, but stopped at a certain one. He didn't even have to jump for the top shelf as aneighth grader. He just stood on tip toe, took the book, glanced through a few pages, shut it, then went to go check it out._

_I gasped when I saw that it was a book on flower language._

* * *

Well, of course I couldn't kick him out of the room, but I did give him a verbal beating and a talk about responsibility. I had sounded like my mother, yes, but this was _Satoshi_ asking if he could _spend the night_ in the same room that I was occupying. Personally, I was freaked out.

But morning soon came and I awoke to the soft sound of Satoshi's nearly silent snores. I stretched, yawned, and tried to think of what to do. There really wasn't much I _could_ do, so I took a quick shower and got dressed. As I buttoned up my shirt, I saw that Satoshi was still asleep, and I decided to go get some breakfast from downstairs. The guy at the desk asked me if I was ok, probably because of what happened last night. I smiled sweetly at him and said yes.

Riding the elevator back up to my room, with two coffees and a bag of bagels and muffins in my hand, I tried to think of why the HELL Satoshi would come to America.

1. He followed me. But, uhh... WHY?

2. His dad changed his mind and sent him on a flight from Europe to America, and Satoshi just _happened_ to try to rent a room in the same hotel as I did.

3. He was actually Satoshi's twin who had heard all about me from Satoshi.

I decided that all choices but number one were incredibly stupid and highly unlikely. So that left only number one. But why would Satoshi follow me all the frick to America?

"Morning," I said rather cheerfully when I entered the room and found Satoshi just waking up. He yawned and stared at me.

"What's that?" he asked groggily.

"Breakfast," I replied, setting down the bag and one of the coffees down on the coffee table. I sat down in a chair and looked at him from the corner of my eye. He was currently stuffing a piece of muffin in his mouth and trying to wake up. Not only was it funny watching his blue eyes blink a thousand times, and seeing him try to chew the muffin without having to touch it, but it was... well, it was kind of cute.

Stupidly, I forced down a mouthful of steaming hot coffee. The point of it was to get the idea out of my head, but it wasn't a very good one. My mouth burned and tears came to my eyes. I coughed, probably sounding like a dying animal, and tried to cool my mouth by breathing deeply. Satoshi smirked at me.

"Are you alright?" he asked, taking the muffin from his mouth.

Still coughing, I nodded and wiped away the tears. "Mmhmm." A few more minutes went by as we ate the food in silence. Once Satoshi was awake enough to put his glasses on, I tried to spring the question on him, but there was something wrong. Maybe it was the way his body slouched, or the way he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Or perhaps it was the remote, dull look in his eyes. Either way, something was wrong. I shut my half open mouth and looked at the ground.

How could I ask him anything without upsetting him even further?

Why did I even care?

"I'm sorry if I frightened you," Satoshi said before I could ponder over the question more. "I didn't mean to."

I shook my head, gulping. "No... it's ok..." My voice came out really quiet, and I wasn't sure why. There was an awkward moment of silence that filled the room. I tried not to look at him, but of course I failed. Whenever I would glance in his direction, the same look would be in his eyes. It drove me nuts. I sighed, frustrated with myself.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Satoshi's asked suddenly.

I blinked. "Umm..." That was a new saying for him, but I didn't think about that much. "Well... I'm wondering why the hell you're here, in my hotel room, in _America_... I'm trying to think of what to do next, because I think I should spend one or two more days here rather than going home..." I sighed again, shrugging. "That's about it."

Satoshi shrugged himself. "Well... I..." He cleared his throat. "Something came up with my father at the last second, so, uhh..."

"If you could tell the truth, I'd be most grateful," I teased, flciking a crumb of bagel at him.

I saw a hint of a smile on his lips, but he wiped it away. "Well... what do you mean by that?"

I looked him straight in the eye. "Why did you follow me to America?"

He almost spit out the coffee he was taking a sip of. "What makes you think I _followed_ you?" My ice cold look is what made him turn a slight shade of pink. He couldn't look me in the eye when he mumbled, "Well, I couldn't just _leave_ you..."

There was a long moment where I just stared at him, too stunned to do, or say, anything. He just fiddled with his coffee cup, looking annoyed that I had asked that question. Satoshi Hiwatari couldn't have followed me to America because he actually cared about my safety... could he?

"Well... thanks," I mumured. He glanced at me. "For... you know... following me and... totally saving my ass last night."

At that, Satohi let out a 'hmph'. It was a light 'hmph' though. One of the 'hmph's you let out when you think something is funny. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, copper coin. He set it down on the table for me to take. "Here's your penny."

* * *

The dark atmosphere of the room left after that. Satoshi and I ate breakfast and drank coffee, talking and joking all the time. Can you believe that? Satoshi and me, laughing together. I never thought that something like that could happen. It was... 

Nice.

There wasn't much to talk about, but even when the two of us had nothing to say, it was a content kind of silence. It wasn't awkward, and it wasn't horrid. It was just like two friends walking down a street. Which, by the way, is what we were doin when a certain sign caught my eye. I stopped walking for a moment.

Satoshi looked over his shoulder at me and stopped also. "What are you-?"

"If we're in America, don't you think we should get something to remember it by?" I asked, thinking.

He raised an eyebrow. "Umm... perhaps. Why ask?"

I pointed my finger at the sign. "Want to try it?"


	10. Making a Memory

**A/N:** Thanks for reviewing! I love reviews :P. Well... here's the next chapter, and I hope you all like it. Sorry if it's so short...

* * *

Chapter 9

I don't know how many hours Satoshi and I were standing outside the store. It took me forever to convince him to come in with me. I was finally forced to just walk in and hope to God that he would follow.

"What can I help you with?" the man at the counter asked me. He had a green mohawk, a leather vest, with many pins and band badges on it, and a pierced nose. It was an interesting sight.

"I'd like a tattoo please," I said, probably sounding like a dork.

The man nodded, writing something down on a piece of paper. "Age?"

"Eighteen," I lied. He believed it, though, and asked me what kind of tattoo I would like, and where. I looked at the little booklet he gave me and decided that I would get a rose on my right shoulderblade. I payed him and followed him to the tattoo station. It was then that I noticed Satoshi had come into the store.

"Can I help you?" the man with the green mohawk asked as Satoshi came walking over to me, eyes shifty.

Satoshi shook his head. "I'm with her."

Green mohawk man nodded in approvement. He then looked at me, picking up a strange-looking needle. "It may hurt a little." I realized then that maybe getting a tattoo was not the best idea.

* * *

_When Dark had disappeared that night, and left me in the Ferris Wheel by myself, I was scared shitless. I must have leaned too far out of our cart, however, and I soon felt my body falling forward. I tried to lean back and grab onto the door, but missed. _

_I was falling... out of a Ferris Wheel... and I was headed straight for blacktop. My head would be crushed. My blood would be everywhere._

_I was going to die._

_I couldn't look away from the death that faced me. I should have shut my eyes, but I kept them open. It was as if I were in a dream, just waiting for myself to wake up. The something happened._

_Just before I hit the ground (no, it was literally right before I hit the ground), I saw a white feather pass my line of vision. There was the blurry sight of a head, and then a chest. I felt arms wrap around my body, which felt like it was going to break at any second, and then felt as if I weighed nothing. It was so weird... like a dream, and I was flying..._

_Then there was a collision. I was flung to the side, landing on a twig or two, but not hard enough that my head would crack open. Afraid, I opened my eyes and tried to see what was going on. My hair was in a messy bunch, and I thought my heart would jump out of my chest._

_Then I saw it._

_Whatever it was, it had wings. White wings. I couldn't see the face, but I saw an arm reach out and grab me. I tried to struggle, but then I saw a trickle of blood running down one wing. It was hurt..._

_"Don't look at me," it ordered harshly. The voice was deep and gruff, but it somehow made my heart feel like it was in a hottub._

_"What are you?" I asked, my voice cracking. It sighed, and then hissed in pain. "Do you want me to help you?"_

_"No." It let out a groan, but did not loosen its hold on me. My back was facing it's chest, and I could not bring up enough courage to lift my head. It's one arm was wrapped around my waist, and the other held my wrist to my shirt, pinning me."You need to get out of here."_

_"But you're hurt," I said, concerned. "And you saved my life... I owe you something..."_

_"No," It replied quickly. A soft rumbling sound was ejected from the back of it's throat, and I felt it shift slightly. "Just... next time... don't ask _what_ I am."_

_I felt my stomach fall. "I'm sorry..."_

_"Just..." It- I mean... _he_- paused. "Get out of the park."_

_"Are you an angel?" I blurted out._

_He let out a 'hmph', but then hissed in pain again. "... No... I'm not." He sighed, probably more tired than he had ever been. "I'm just a normal kid like you." Before I could say anything else, he added, "Please... just get out of here. And... can you do me one favor?" I nodded, swallowing. "Don't look back at me."_

* * *

Green mohawk man was right. That tattoo hurt like nothing else I had experienced. I almost screamed the first few minutes, but instead held onto Satoshi's hand and squeezed it every time it hurt. It was kind of sweet of him. Not minding that I was crushing his hand and probably breaking his bones, I mean. 

The thing that shocked me the most, even more than Satsohi agreeing to get the tattoo of a sword with fire swirling around it on his upper arm, was that we were actually doing this.

Satoshi Hiwatari and Risa Harada... getting tattoos... in America.

_We were actually fricking doing this._

It wasn't like us at all. In any way, shape, or form. I mean... we had _changed_.

In my mind, I wondered if it was for the better or for the worse.


	11. Caring

**A/N:** Although I've never gotten a tattoo before, I'm pretty sure it would hurt. I think Satoshi's would have hurt more than Risa's because it was bigger with more types of shadows. Risa's wouldn't have been that bad. (shrug). Oh well. Hope y'all like this chapter!

* * *

Chapter 10 

"That really was kind of painful," Satoshi commented.

We were walking down the boardwalk and eating ice cream. The sun was begining to set, and we didn't really have anything else to do. My shoulder was really sore, and I'm sure Satoshi' upper arm wasn't any better. The man with the green mohawk gave us a cleanser, and told us how to take care of ourselves. We figured we would be fine, but after a little, tha I REALLY wanted to scratch at my tattoo. Satoshi had to swat my hand away from my bandage a few times. But it was a nice, cool evening, and for the first time in a long time, I was in a really good mood.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, duh." I reached out and smeared a bit of my chocolate ice cream on his nose. He flinched back and glared at me, but all I could do was giggle.

"Thanks," he said, shaking his head, but in a light-hearted way. "I really needed _that_."

I threw back my head and laughed. He looked at me, and a small smile came across his face. It was kind of odd, but it was nice. I mean... I had never, EVER, seen him smile like that. Ever.

"It's nice to see you smile again," he said quietly.

I coughed and tried not to stare at him. I looked out to the ocean and shrugged. "What are you talking about?"

"... Nothing," he said, taking a large bite of his ice cream.

I bumped into him purposefully. "No, now you have to tell me."

He scowled, and shrugged himself. "Well... both you and I know that after Daisuke confessed the truth to you, you weren't the same." I stayed silent, waiting for more. "You didn't smile anymore... you were sarcastic and rude to everyone... you became angry more easily... you practically isolated yourself from the world..." He inhaled. "It was as if you and I switched places."

I swallowed. For some reason, I fingered the his penny that was lying in my pocket. Why had I still kept that thing?

I heard Satoshi sigh. "It was very different... and, no offense Harada-san-" I mumbled that my name was Risa. "- but I didn't like it."

* * *

_"Why do you all have to be so damn concerned about me!" I shouted at my friends. They all came up with a million excuses, but I just shook my head. "You all are pathetic. Stop worrying about me. I don't deserve it." With that, I walked away._

(divider)

_"Harada-san, why are you being like this?" Daisuke asked after I had just plowed over a soccer player in gym class._

_I glared at him, trying desperatly not to see Dark. "I'm playing soccer and trying not to fail gym class."_

(divider)

_"Risa!" Riku yelled at me once she had caught me stealing a CD. "What have you done to yourself?"_

_"Nothing that concerns you!" I shouted back._

(divider)

_"It's going to storm," I mumbled to myself on a sunny day. I was the only one who had noticed the incoming, grey clouds._

_"That should be nice," Satoshi said, coming up beside me. "We need rain to get rid of this humidity."_

_I scoffed. "Yeah. Incredibly loud thunder, depressing grey skies, ominous lightening, and the gloomy rain washing away the happiness of the world."_

_Satoshi satred at me. "You know... you_ could _look at the more beautiful things in life, Harada-san."_

(divider)

_A black feather. I had ripped that apart just before I had left the house. Then the white feather had caught my eye. I stared at it for probably half an hour, a small amount of hope rising within me._

It's never going to happen, you stupid, silly girl, _My mind kept saying._ Give it up. You're so pathetic.

_I frowned before taking the white feather and cutting it into little pieces with the kitchen shears._

* * *

It was storming that day when I ran to the train station. I had gotten myself completely soaked, but I didn't care. I had hurt my friends, and I didn't care. I had yelled at my sister and my former best friend, and I didn't care. I was given my own advice by Satoshi Hiwatari, and I didn't care. I was running away from home, and I didn't care. 

Standing there, thinking of everything I had done, thinking of the words coming out of Satoshi's mouth, fingering the penny in my pocket, reflecting on how I was before I had heard that confession from Daisuke...

I cared.

I paused before replying, "Me too."


	12. Calling a Friend

**A/N:** Hey! Thanks SOOO much for your reviews! I love them! This chapter is kind of short... and I don't know if it's one of my better ones, but review and tell me. Thanks again!

* * *

Chapter 11

That night, I lay in my hotel bed, not able to sleep. I tossed and turned, and probably tried a thousand different sleeping positions. Nothing helped. I finally sighed and sat up, stretching. I caught sight of Satoshi's feet sticking out from the couch he was lying on, and felt a smile tug at my lips.

And then the idea came. It was so sudden that I thought myself insane.

What if I called Riku?

Before I could even think twice, I grabbed the hotel phone, dialed 9, and began dialing my home phone number. It rang four times, then picked up just before the answering machine turned on.

"Hello?" a tired-sounding Riku answered.

"Riku!" I whispered excitedly. I hadn't noticed that I had been holding my breath while the phone rang. I exhaled, happy at the sound of her voice again.

"Risa?" Riku asked, surprised, but now awake. "Risa... where are you?"

"Um..." I bit my lip. "Amerca..."

"Ameri-!" Riku caught herself, then lowered her volume level and hissed, "_America_?"

I nodded. "I'm coming home in a few days. I just wanted to check up on you and see how things were going."

Riku yawned. "Well... everything's ok, I guess. Dad's not angry, just incredibly worried. Mom's no better, and Daisuke asks everyday if I've heard anything."

I frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Risa, it's ok-"

"No." I swallowed. "I mean I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately. I've been... horrible. And I'm going to appologize to you and everyone else once I get home in person."

There was a pause. "I still forgive you anyway." Riku sighed. "It's not like I could hate you. I mean... I know that you tried to kiss Daisuke-" I gasped and flushed at this. "-but I know what the jealousy is like as well. I'm not exactly a stranger to it all."

I smiled sadly. "Yeah... I know." There was a long moment where it was just the two of us, breathing into the phone. We sat and just stayed on the line, content with each other's company. I finally let out a yawn, and shivered. It was rather cold in my hotel room.

"We should go to sleep now," Riku said, reading my thoughts.

"Hm. Goodnight, Riku."

"Goodnight, Risa. Thanks for calling... WAIT!" I paused before hanging up the phone. "Is anyone with you? Are you alone!"

I found myself blushing even deeper at this. "N-no. I'm with someone..."

"Hiwatari-kun is still with you?" she asked, shocked.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes. What of it."

There was a moment where all she could do was wonder. Then I could practically feel her smirk at me. "Might want to tell him thanks."

"Shut up," I snapped. I heard her giggle. "Goodnight, Riku."

"G'night, Risa."

I must have sat on the bed like that for another twenty minutes. There was this small part of me that really did want to appologize to Satoshi and tell him thanks. But it was the middle of the night, and he had already put up with so much. I didn't think waking him would be the best thing to do.

But, you know me, always doing the opposite of what I want to do. I soon found myself on my knees, peering at Satoshi's sleeping face, trying to figure out a way to say thanks. I mean... what could I say? It's not morning yet, but I woke you up just to randomly appologize for my appaling behavior and to thank you for taking care of me lately. Yeah... that would go over well.

I scowled and exhaled, frustrated. Satoshi shifted in his sleep, but I wasn't worried. He slept like a rock. This I knew for a fact because last night, I woke up four times, shouted in my sleep, and knocked over a lamp. He hadn't even stirred. So I smiled stupidly, and mumbled, "Stupid rock." As he murmured nonsense.

There was a stray strand of hair in his face, so I decided to lightly swipe it away.

It was strange, the emotion that I felt when I looked at him. Almost like... I cared for his safety as well. I shook myself awake from my daydreaming-like state, then headed back towards my bed. For some odd reason, my heart was racing.

I kind of liked it.


	13. Maturing

**A/N:** Hey all! Thanks for the reviews! I love them! . But Risa kissing Satoshi in the last chapter? The thought hadn't actually crossed my mind :P. Oh well. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 12

"Morning, Hiwatari-kun," I said with a yawn. He had gotten up and was currently washing his face by the time I had opened my eyes. I heard him call out a good morning. "Sleep well last night?"

"Just fine," he replied. "You?"

I blushed a bit, remembering the toughts running through my mind the previous night. I shook it away, though. "Same." I looked around the hotel room, and tried to figure out what exactly I would be doing on my last day in America. I had already planned to book two tickets back to Japan for the next morning, and I really didn't know what I would do for an entire DAY with Satoshi. How awkward would this be?

"Hey," Satoshi said, suddenly in the doorway of the bathroom. "What ever happened to your hat?"

Instantly, my hand shot towards my head. I let out a gasp, then began searching for it. I had thrown the covers off my body and was looking through the sheet. When I didn't find them there, I looked under the bed. I then looked on the bedside tables, around the couch, in the bathroom. I finally ended up where I had started, sitting down on my bed with a frown.

"Damnit!" I whined, falling back. "That was my favorite hat..."

"You had it at the airport," Satoshi said. He then paused. "How did you not notice that it was gone?"

I shook my head to myself. "I don't know..." I growled softly. "Damnit..."

Satoshi merely let it go with the shrug of one shoulder. "Well... at least now people can see your hair." My mind went zooming back to the bus ride, where Satoshi had complimented me on my eyes. I felt my face heat up, and decided that the best thing to do would be to hide under the covers. So I did.

"Why do you even care?" I said as if I were complaining. My voice was muffled through the sheets. Satoshi was silent for a moment, but I heard him sigh.

"It was only a comment," he said. "I appologize if I made you feel uncomfortable."

"Well, contrary to popular belief," I snapped, unaware of why I was so moody. "I don't scope out the surrounding area for young men I can sleep with everywhere I go."

Satoshi cleared his throat, probably not sure of what to do. "I wasn't implying that."

"Oh, please," I said. "I know what people think of me, Hiwatari-kun. I know that people think I'm a sluty girl, and that I was stupid for following Dark everywhere he went..." When I said his name, and the memories came back to me... there was a very weird feeling in my gut. Like, I wasn't brokenhearted. I was... embarassed.

"I don't think that at all," he said, sounding surprsied. I threw the sheets from my face, turned my head, and glared at him. I didn't believe Satoshi even when he did look semi-hurt. "What? I truly don't." I didn't give up, and he crumbled. "Alright... I _used_ to think that... a little bit."

I scoffed and looked away from him. "Right..." There was an awkward (a very, VERY awkward) moment of silence. I swore to myself, realizing that he was, once again, shirtless and standing in my hotel room. Only, this time he was not dripping wet. Why was he shirtless again? Satoshi seemed like the kind of kid that would HATE being shirtless.

"Would you like to know what I think?" he asked. I waited until I heard him rumaging through his bags for a shirt before I looked at him. Damn. He was still shirtless. Except he was _holding_ a white shirt. Was that progress? "I think you're a normal 17-year-old girl, who just happened to fall in love." I caught sight of his tattoo, which, other than being somewhat red and a little swollen, was looking _very_ nice. "He was very much a ladie's man, Harada-san. I don't blame you for fallng for him."

That didn't help my mood much. "It's Risa, and, once again, I was just another one of his stupid fan girls."

"No, Harada-san, you weren't," Satoshi said, his voice becoming stern.

He was really starting to get on my nerves. "It's _Risa_. And, _yes_, Hiwatari-kun, I was. I was childish and self centered." Satoshi had now successfully made his way over to the bed and was glaring back at me.

"Maybe you're right," he snapped. "Maybe you were just a selfish, little girl. Does that make you feel any better?"

I had to look away again. Not only because he had a point, but beacause HELLO! He was shirtless! I chose not to respond, and he sighed, sitting down next to me.

"Harada-san," he started slowly. "It doesn't matter how horrible we were in the past. The important thing is that we learn from our mistakes, and we move on. That's how humans mature."

"Well, I missed the maturing part," I mumbled.

"That's alright," Satoshi said. "You'll get it."

I looked at him, unbelieving. "You really think so?"

Then he gave me this look. I can't even describe it all too well. It wasn't a bad look, mind you. It was... It was gentle... and caring... and soft... and reassuring... and... _genuine_. There was a genuine _look_ that he gave me, small smile and all.

"I have no doubt in my mind."

What was this? Not Satoshi being shirtless, but Satoshi giving me advice, and Satoshi caring about my safety, and Satoshi encouraging me. Why did I feel so special whenever he would smile at me? Why did I continuously blush around him? Why did I see Dark as an infatuation that has long passed my mind (which, in retrospect, it really hasn't been too long)? Why? Why was it that whenever I fell asleep... I always saw Satoshi's face?

What _was_ this?


	14. Umm

**A/N:** o.O Whoa, you guys really like this story? I didn't think it was that great... But, one thing mae me smile, in your reviews. This one person, Kyuu, predicted what was going to happen in this chapter almost exactly. ;) Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 13

Walking down the busy sidewalk, Satoshi and I tried to pick out ideas of what to do. We had already booked our flight tickets, gotten a cup of coffee, ate breakfast at a small dinner, and were currently musing over our tattoos. I tried to tell him that almost everywhere we went, girls were staring at his. Which was true, mind you. He kept insisiting that it was because his arm was swollen. He told me, however, that if I were to wear something that revealed my tattoo then not only would men be staring at me, but he'd have to save my ass from a rapist again.

"That's not true," I had told him. I fingered the penny in my pocket as he chuckled at me. Why did I treat his damn penny as if it was worth something?

We soon grew bored (in a forgein country, isn't that odd?), and returned to our hotel room. Once we were there, we continued to do nothing. We would talk, and eat some snacks that I had bought from a local grocery shop. After a little while, we decided to pay for watching a movie on the TV set. Satoshi had a miniature fit that we had to actually _pay_ a few dollars just to watch a movie on a hotel TV. I just told him to suck it up.

"What movie do you want to see?" he asked me as he plopped down on the couch with the remote.

I shrugged. "I don't know. And you're in my spot."

He ignored my last statement. "Horror? Comedy? Action?"

"If we watch a horror movie, I will shit my pants," I said truthfully. I then proceeded to sit on him.

"Ow!" Satoshi yelped and tried to push me off of his lap. "What are you-?"

"I told you that you were in my spot!" I said, stealing the remote from him. He protested and tried to grab it back, but I held it out of reach. "Now... let's watch action." I clicked on some random movie cover and turned up the volume.

"Hey!" Satoshi tried once again to get me off of him, but failed. I elbowed his stomach and stretched out, causing him to grunt and give in to my superior strength. He sighed, annoyed and frustrated. When I glanced over my shoulder at him, I could have sworn that I could see a shade of pink across his cheeks. I looked at our position, and realized why he might have been blushing. I mean... not only was I _on top_ of him, but we were practically acting like a dating couple.

Was it just me, or did the temperature increase _dramatically_?

"Why did you chose this movie?" Satoshi interrupted my thoughts.

"Uhh... I just clicked on a random title," I replied. "Why ask?"

"Because this particular series of movies practically tells us that the man is always going to be better than the women," he explained, taking off his glasses. "That and the woman is only good for sex."

I had to take a minute to swallow back my embarrassment, and pretend that Satoshi wasn't as good-looking as I thought he was without the glasses. "Do you want me to pick a different movie?"

"We already paid for it," he said, relaxing into the cushions. "Might as well watch it. Although, if it becomes too disgustingly sexist for you, we can stop."

I nodded, unable to say anything. Did he NOT know what we looked like?

Nevermind. Don't answer that.

* * *

That night, something strange happened. I had almost fallen asleep in Satoshi's arms, and was really quite comfortable, but I was stirred by the feeling of him moving. I didn't want to open my eyes, so I just pretended like I was still asleep. 

Satoshi carefully took full weight of my body in one arm and was reaching forward for something. He swore under his breath, seeing as how the object he desired was far away. Finally, he leaned back and sighed. I felt a blanket being drawn over our bodies, and smiled at the thought of Satoshi trying to make sure that I was warm.

Then it kind of hit me like a ton of bricks. _Our_ bodies... with _me_ lying _on top_ of _him_...

Jesus Christ Almighty.

"H-Hiwatari-kun?" I tried to make it sound like I had just woken up.

"I'm just cold," he mumbled, half asleep himself.

I, on the other hand, was _fully_ awake. "... Umm..." He took a big, deep sigh and draped the blanket over us. After that, I swear to God, he wrapped his arms around my waist. I luckily managed to keep a scream inside my body. "... H-Hiwatari-kun?"

"Mm?"

"Umm..." I didn't really know how to put this. "What are you _doing_?"

He grumbled. "I told you. Just... getting... warm..."

I felt my breath hitch on my throat. Not only because he was moving closer, but because he was right. I wasn't cold anymore. Damn that boy... I glanced, by craning my neck, at his face and felt my cheeks flare. When I tried to ask him if he was feeling ok, I got a different response without even asking a question. In other words...

Satoshi kissed me.

It was a just a small kiss on my forehead, then my cheek. He smiled softly and murmured something that I couldn't make out. The sad thing was that I couldn't move. I mean... I completely froze as soon as his lips touched my skin. I felt myself shiver, and I looked up at him. He just smiled lazily at me.

"You look so innocent," he mumbled. "It's cute..."

"S-satoshi..." I stammered, shaking for no reason. "W-what... why-?"

As a response, he just murmured nonsense and buried his head into my hair. With his low, monotone, and now muffled, voice, he said, "I like that... when you call me Satoshi..."

I gulped. Feeling him kiss my neck, I shivered again. "U-umm..." All he did was look at me, one eye open due to drowsyness. I almost smiled at his drunken like state. "... Y-you're just doing this because you're not awake."

Satoshi let out a 'hmph' and shook his head against the crook of my neck. His hands, I noticed, were quite large in comparison to mine. I could feel them caressing the tiny, delicate fingers, as if he was taking care of a child.

It was odd, using the word 'caress' to describe how Satoshi was touching me... GOD! Even _that_ doesn't sound right! But... it's just... it's the only way I could put it. I don't mean to make it sound all smutty and sex like, but that's just how it was.

"Do you really think I'm that kind of person?" he asked quietly. "Do you really think that I would use something as valuable as you for my own pleasure?"

Well... when he said it like _that_... It's just that he would never do something like this if we were both awake, you know? I was about to tell him this, but he let out an indescribable sound that reminded me of a hiccup.

"I would never... _ever_ hurt you, Risa," he whispered into my ear.

Strangely, that was all I needed to close my eyes and doze off. The last thing I remember was my breathing being insync with his...


	15. It

Chapter 14

The next morning, I awoke to find myself still in the position in which I had fallen asleep in. With Satoshi's arms wrapped around me, his head resting upon mine, breathing in the scent of my hair. I felt myself blush furiously, remembering everything that had happened last night.

_Oh my fricking God...  
_

Somehow, I managed to get up without waking him. I just ran (more like sprinted) into the bathroom, shut and locked the door, and tried to calm down.

What. The. _Hell_. Was. Going. On?

I looked in the mirror to find a ghastly image of myself. It was kind of wierd seeing my pale face, but my tomato-red cheeks. I shook my head, thoughts going through my mind at 100 mph. I tried to splash cold water on my face, but it didn't do any good.

"Get a hold of yourself," I mumbled to myself sternly. "He was just imagining a different girl... or he was just doing it because he was practically drunk... Calm down, Risa, calm down..." When I said my name, I remembered Satoshi saying my name...

_"I would never hurt you... Risa."_

That's all I heard. Him saying my name over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and...

"AHH!" I let out a scream, my hands gripping my head. I swore mutliple times. "God damnit, just calm down!" As I ran a hand through my hair, I thought about Satoshi's breath on my neck... and the feeling of him breathing into my-

"Jesus Christ, Risa!" I used the foulest of words to try and bring me back to my old, collected self, but it wasn't working. I slamed my fist into my palm, becoming angry. As I was about to shout another order to myself, I stopped and looked at my hands. Satoshi's had been caressing those hands... just last night... so gently...

"OH MY GOD!"

This was insanity. I was talking to myself and swearing about a boy actually caring for me. No... I was talking to myself and swearing about a boy who wasn't even supposed to BE IN THE SAME COUNTRY as I was, but he was lying down on my hotel couch, after a night of acting like a dating couple.

It was ludicrous! It was preposterous. It was horrible. It was despicable. It was terrible. It was freaking perverse! It was unacceptable and a crime against my sanity! It was a horrendous intrusion of privacy, and not to mention an injustice that was causing me to lose control of... well, my self control! It was unnerving and it was... it was... it was just-!

I can't even describe what it was! It was just god damn wrong!

* * *

"Good morning," I greeted Satoshi as I exited the bathroom. I tried to sound as natural as I could. As in, not squeaking, or errupting, or bringing up anything that had to do with last night. 

"Morning," Satoshi mumbled, just waking up. He yawned. "Sleep well?"

"Just fine." Damnit. My voice cracked on fine. I coughed. "How about you?"

He nodded, yawning again. "Yes, I did." Of course, it was THE GUY who had _completely_ forgotten the events of the night. Satoshi was more than OBLIVIOUS. He looked at me. "Are you done in the shower?"

I nodded, unable to speak. He stood, stretched, and grabbed some clothes (see, he was smart enough to bring some in a big suitcase while I, on the other hand, was stuck wearing the same thing I had worn the day I had run away.). Just before he entered the bathroom, he stopped by my side.

I noticed to late that I had been watching him, and I tried to look away. When I was about to take a step away and go pretend to do something worthwhile, I felt his hand reach out and take my arm. I could have screamed and hit him over the head if it wasn't for my hands clasped so tightly together.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern filling his eyes. The same blue eyes that were more than piercing without the glasses... and also made him look 100 times more attractive.

I swallowed hard and nodded my head in quick little vibrations. "Yes. I'm perfectly alright. Why do you ask?"

He scowled. "Well... for one thing, you're speaking like me. For another thing, you're frightfully pale. And... you just seem worried over something."

What did he mean by _worried_? Worried as in I'm-so-flusted-about-last-night-that-I-can-hardly talk-in-fear-of-looking-like-a-dumbass-in-front-of-you worried? Or the I-have-no-idea-how-to-act-around-you-because-I-don't-know-if-you-truly-care-romantically-about-me-due-to-last-night's-actions-that-you-only-preformed-because-you-were-half-asleep worried?

"Is it because we're going home today?" he asked.

I hadn't known that I was holding my breath. I exhaled, relieved. "Yeah... something like that."

He let out an understanding smile. I then knew why he had gained a freaking fan club back at school. "It's going to be ok. You're family still loves you, and they'll accept you back into their lives gratefully."

I WOULD HAVE been fine if he hadn't sounded like I had something that he didn't. I truly, honestly WOULD HAVE been great!

"What do you mean? You're father won't accept you back into your family gratefully?"

Satoshi's smile dimmed, and his hand fell from my arm. He cleared his throat, and looked away from me. "I'll be getting in the shower now..."

NO. WAY. IN. HELL. I reached out and grabbed his arm before he could move. He froze. "What's going on with your family?" It was more like I was demanding to know something other than asking what was wrong.

Satoshi let out a sigh, but didn't tell me what was bothering him until approximately two minutes of silence. "My father... isn't the kindest of men. I just don't wish to return home to him. That's all."

"That's all?" I asked, making him flinch. He probably felt like an idiot, and I wasn't making it any better. "Does he... Sa-" I stopped myself from calling him by his first name. "Hiwatari-kun... does he beat you?"

Satoshi shook his head. "It's never happened before. He is just cruel with his choice of words, and he makes sure that my freedoms are limited when he is angry with me. Although... I don't know how low he can stoop."

We were stuck. I couldn't even believe it. Satoshi's father mistreating him? Was he the reason why Satoshi was forced to succeed? Was he the reason why Satoshi went to High School and graduated college so early? Was his father the soul reason as to why Satoshi was so determined to catch Dark? I bit my lower lip and tried to think of something to say. My mind reeled.

_You know... if he was 18, then he could own a house_, I thought. _But he doesn't have enough money. Perhaps an appartment?_

"Hiwatari-kun," I said, unaware of how quiet my voice had grown. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen," he replied, not thinking. No... scratch the not thinking part. "But I can't afford an appartment. All money belongs to my father."

"Oh." That was all I could say. I couldn't even give him a hug, or an encouraging statement. Why did I feel so helpless? I know, I KNOW, it's because he's always taking care of me, and I never manage to do anything for him, but... well... oh, forget it. I really was helpless.

"If you are worried about me," Satoshi said, taking my hand in his and removing it from his arm. "Then you should stop. I'll be fine..." I wasn't convinced, but I couldn't argue. I could think of nothing else to say.

* * *

"All passengers for flight 87 to Japan, please head towards gate 50. All passengers for flight 87..." 

My embarassment had now grown to fear. I wasn't afraid for my own safety. I knew that Mom and Dad would _never_ beat me. But as for Satoshi... well... I didn't know what his father could do.

As we took our seats, I looked out the window and reflected on everything that had happened. It kind of strained my memory, but I was shocked at how short a time I had been away. The thing that bothered me the most was how much had happened in that little time.

I had run away, in the middle of a stormy night. Then I was stuck, soaked to the bone, on a train with Satoshi. I then boarded a bus, which Satoshi boarded with me. Then we missed our stop, and I accidentally kicked a rock at him. Then we were in a cheap motel room... _that_ was fun. I recieved an intimidating phone call from my father, and had Satoshi comfort me. Then we took the bus back into town, and I said good-bye to Satoshi as I entered the airport. While in the airport, I took a flight to America. In America, I was chased and almost raped, but was heroically saved by (guess who) Satoshi. Then Satoshi told me that he couldn't just leave me to fend for myself, and we got tattoos. I then called Riku and felt better about coming home. Then... well, you know what happened last night...

And here I was. Sitting on a plance, going back to Japan, about to face my mom and dad. And the only thing I could think and/or worry about was Satoshi.

Then, the though hit me. It was as if I couldn't breathe, which I kind of couldn't for a second. Back in the bathroom of my hotel room, I tried to think of words for 'it'. Whatever the hell 'it' was. It was then, on the flight home, sitting next to a snoozing Satoshi, that I figured it out.

'It' could very well be love.

* * *

**A/N:** I think the next chapter is the last. I can't remember. I have an epilogue though. So, umm... stay tunned(?)


	16. Coming Home

Chapter 15

There we stood. In front of my house. Satoshi really is too kind to me. He stayed with me on the train ride, and he walked me home, in the middle of the night, carrying his suitcase with him.

It was dark, and I could see the stars above me. The light to my parent's room was on, and I gulped. I was ready to come home, but it was still kind of scary to me. How? I don't know. It just was.

"Will you be alright from here?" Satoshi asked, breaking the silence.

I took a deep breath. No, I wasn't going to be alright. I mean... I _personally_ would be fine, but thinking about what Satoshi had to face made me cringe. I shook my head, my throat suddenly becoming sore. Before he asked me why not, I managed to push out, "I don't know if you're going to be ok."

This seemed to have an effect on him. He shut his mouth, genuinely surprised. Shuffling his feet, Satoshi had to clear his throat a few times. "I should be fine, Harada-san. I'll rent out a hotel room tonight and face my father tomorrow. I'll phone him beforehand or something."

"Where will you be staying?" I asked, not bothering to correct him to say my first name.

"Just the cheap motel down the street from school," he replied. I opened my mouth to offer, but he cut me off. "I have enough money. Even if I didn't, I wouldn't take any from you."

I scowled. "Will you call me?" Again, Satoshi was caught off guard. "After you've called your father I mean? Will you tell me how he took it?"

Satoshi shook his head, confused, but decided to let it go. "Sure. I suppose I can call you."

I nodded, satisfied. Then we were stuck. Even though it was kind of chilly outside, I didn't want to move. Probably using up the last of my courage, I shut my eyes tight, and wrapped my arms around Satoshi's waist in a tight hug. He froze in shock for a second, then awkwardly placed his arms around my shoulders.

"Thank you for being so kind to me!" I said, feeling tears come. "And for following me to America, and for saving my ass from a rapist, and for getting a tattoo with me, and walking me home, and... just for sticking with me all this way. Thank you so much!" I buried my face into his chest, breathing in his scent.

He laughed a little bit, and relaxed, actually giving me a real hug. I felt my face heat up at the feeling of his arms around me. "It's ok, Harada-san. I'm just glad that you turned out ok." It was odd how we both knew what he meant.

I sniffed and nodded. His leather jacket smelled so wonderful... I tightened my grip quickly before I released him. "It's Risa."

God damn him and his beautiful, caring, and (dare I say?) loving smile. "Right... _Risa_..."

* * *

I looked at the door to my house, took a deep, deep breath, and slowly swung it open. The house was dark, and eerily quiet. I thought I saw the TV glow coming from the end of the hall, but it was nothing. I closed the door and looked around. 

_Is everyone asleep?_ I paused. _That was a dumb question..._

I slowly walked up the stairs, trying not to make a sound. I decided to visit Riku's room first. Although that may have been a bad decision because her door always squeaked. I cringed as I stood in the open doorway with a moaning Riku sitting up in her bed.

"What?" she complained, rubbing her eyes. She spotted me. "Risa? Go back to bed..." She then stopped, her eyes growing large.

I smiled weakly. "Hi."

In an instant, she had lept out of bed and embraced me in the tightest of all hugs. I almost choked, but gave in to her shaking body. I hugged her back, and we were trapped in hugs only twins can share. When she finally pulled back, she had to wipe her eyes.

"Oh, God, Risa!" She shook her head, at a loss for words. "I'm so glad your home!" She hugged me again.

"Me too," I whispered, a tear falling down my cheek. I sniffed, pulling back once more. "Should I wait to tell Mom and Dad?" Riku thought about it for a moment. "I mean... I'm waiting for a call from someone... and it may be better to tell them in the morning..."

Riku shrugged. "I guess. However you feel most comfortable." She then beckoned me into her room and quietly closed the door. Well... as quietly as a sqeaking door can close. "Now..." she motioned for me to sit on the side of the bed opposite of her pillow, where she had plunked herself. "Tell me all about your trip! What happened? Where did you go? Why did Satoshi follow you to America? Tell me everything!"

So I did.


	17. Epilogue

**A/N:** Well, here it is!

* * *

Epilogue

There must have been an entire ten minutes with me glancing at Satoshi's stunned figure, and him just staring at the apartment. I grew resltess, fidling with my thumbs and kicking at a small piece of cardboard on the ground. Was it an ugly apartment? Was it too small? Was it too big? Did he not want it after all?

"It belonged to our maid," I explained, not knowing what else to do. "Riku and I managed to convince our parents to get it." I paused. "Well... it's kind of part of my punishment for running away as well. I'll be cleaning it and painting it and making it just like new." I spotted a cobweb in the doorway and scowled. Mom and Dad really knew how to make me miserable.

Satoshi remained silent, however. He was really begining to get on my nerves, you know? I mean... how long can a kid stand in awe?

I swallowed and walked around a bit. "This is the kitchen, and I thought a light blue would be a cool color for it..." I was begining to sound like a 40-year-old real estate agent. Couldn't he say SOMETHING?

I led him around the entire appartment, trying to get him to say something. I failed miserably. He just followed me, as if in a dream, nodding absentmindedly.

"I just... didn't want your dad to get on your case," I said, twidling my thumbs. "I thought that... maybe you would like to live here..." We stood in the bedroom, which probably needed the most work (because whenever I would walk, small clouds of dust would form around my feet). He was still completely stunned, and I was growing restless.

Finally, I took out the penny I had been fingering for almost six minutes and held it out to him. He tore his eyes from the empty space in front of us and looked at my hand.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I asked. His eyes came to bore down into my own, and I felt as if he was looking into my soul. It made my knees go weak, and I tried really, really, REALLY hard not to squeak. His lips slowly (VERY slowly) curled into a small smile... then a toothy smile... then a full out grin. He threw back his head and laughed. It was so light and care-free that it made my heart jump. "What?" I personally didn't see anything funny in the situation.

He shook his head, his laugh dying down, and sighed. It was then that he reached out, took my hand, and pulled me incredibly close to him. I felt an arm wrap around my tiny waist, and the only thing I could do was stare into those blue eyes. He took the penny from my hand, slipped it into my pocket, then moved his hand so he could run it through my hair. I shivered, and he rested his forehead against mine. He shook his head slightly, as if he were amazed at my very being.

"I'll save you a penny," he whispered. With that, he leaned in, closing the space between us, and kissed me. A full out kiss on the lips.

I was so shocked that I couldn't breathe. I felt this tingling sensation in my stomach, and my heart felt as if it would burst from my chest. I shut my eyes tight, trying to make myself calm down, but I eventually felt myself relax. It was so weird because... well... this was SATOSHI.

All the same, he didn't act like it was ME. I mean... He gave me soft, gentle kisses, keeping a firm grip on my trembling body. Whenever he would pull back so we could breathe, he'd kiss my neck or my cheek. I soon found my hands traveling from my side... to his torso... to his chest... then finally to his neck. There, unconsciously, I pulled him closer. It was so, incredibly... _nice._

I mean... When I had kissed Dark, nothing like this had ever happened. When I kissed Dark, it was all about lips and tongue and looks. There, standing in an empty (and rather dirty) apartment, wrapped in Satoshi's arms, it was all about us. It was about the warm feeling in my organs, and the diziness that made my knees weak, and the way my fingers became entangled in his hair (and vice versa). It was about the dream land I was in, and me shivering when he would kiss the crook of my neck.

It was just... nice.

"Why did you do this?" he breathed once he had pulled back.

Despite practically not being able to stand, I smiled. "Let's just say that I'm repaying you for helping me. Ok?"

Satoshi nodded, giving a half shrug. "Ok." He kissed me again. It was so full of passion that I had never expected to come from him that I nearly pulled away. He held me close, though, tracing my lips with his, and I melted.

_**A/N:** This would normally be the part where writers would put "And the two lovers lived happily ever after". But... that's not my style. So I will just leave it as this:_

**THE END**

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**A/N: **AHH! Fluff. I normally don't do fluff, or at least I try not to. I try to make it in character and all. Was it out of character in any way? Well... I know that throughout the story Satoshi was different from other stories, but oh well. Anyway... it had been a challenge to write this way (not having the entire story written out beforehand and all), and I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing. And so ends _Journey_. Stay cool, peeps.


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